Back to work- Week 1

 Not the worst thing that has even happened, but not something that I'm overly joyous about. Whatever. Old news. 

Monday:

I set my alarm clock for 5:30am, 5:45am, and then finally 6:00am. As much as I don't want to go back I REFUSE to be late! So I gave myself ample time to get myself and both kids ready to go.(Except my hair...I spent the entire day looking like a Chia Pet.)  We made it out of the house a little later than I would have liked, however we were still on a positive time track. I have been dreading this day since before the baby was born, and up until I dropped the boys off I still wasn't sure of how I was going to handle it. But...I made it out tear free!! 

Mom-1, Emotions-0

It helped that Jaiden's grandma is watching the baby also, and there is no one else other than my immediate family who I trust with my kids more.. She is just simply wonderful! So I made it to work with 2 minutes to spare! I walked into the mall looking like a bag lady equipped with my large purse, shopping bag full of snacks to keep in the store..( it keeps me from splurging on a pretzel, or going to get some Cinnabon) and last but not least, my very inconspicuous black bag that contains every working aspect of my breast pump.  

 

My Not-So-Secret Pumping spot... Like my extension cord?

Now my inconspicuous pumping..Well let's not act like its a big secret. I have no private area in my store to pump besides the bathroom and the fitting rooms. So for some more comfort while pumping, of course I chose the fitting room, which results in an extension cord coming out from under the door that's plugged into a socket across the hall. The 1st day in my not-so-secret pumping spot, one of my employees tripped over the cord, and almost sent my pump and my precious white gold all over the place! Luckily thanks to my cat like reflexes, I narrowly avoided a catastrophe!

The 1st day I managed to only cry one time. Which was due to a combination of different factors. So I have to pat myself on the back with that, because I was totally expecting to lose my shit....on multiple occasions. I left right at 5 and made it to the sitters house to find my precious baby having the time of his life in the swing..We all came home and it was a pretty easy cooking night. I made a pizza. All ate well and it was a much earlier bedtime for everyone!

Mom-1, Emotions-1

Tuesday

Alarm: 5:00am, snooze. 5:30am, snooze. I wish.

I woke up on Tuesday earlier than Monday. I have weekly meetings that start at 8am so that means extra early! Yet again I had no problems when I dropped the kids off...tear free and a lot less nervous than yesterday. I had no issues with emotional outbursts at work..Except for when I tasted Chic-fil-a's coffee..That's enough to make someone cry. I was able to pump in peace on Tuesday..No almost face-plant mishaps or a flying dairy farm! Hell yea! Tuesdays are early off days for me. Since I go in earlier I get to leave earlier. So I was out by 4 and home to pick up my boys by 4:45.

I'm loving this whole new sense of I'm a working mother of 2/Wonder Woman thing so I don't forget to lay anything out for dinner, or already have an entire weeks worth of dinner planned by Sunday evening. Well that's lasted a whole few days. Today was my Ranch Parmesan chicken with sweet potatoes(my newest fave) and green beans. Tonight was another early night for us and we were all in bed by 10PM. Smart Horrible thinking.

Wednesday

Alarm: 5:45am. snooze. 6:00am, double snooze. 6:15am, SHITTTTT!

Okay so going to bed early last night, would work in my favor... one would think...Well one would think WRONG! I have not been this tired in I can't even remember how long! I could barely keep my eyes open driving to work let alone work the ENTIRE DAY! But someway, somehow I managed to make it for the whole day....

The day was good. I didn't cry today! Winning!

Mom-2, Emotions-1

 I felt this appropriately sums up my work day pump.

YESSSSSSS the unthinkable happened. I went to put my freshly pumped white gold in the refrigerator at work..and my storage bag wasn't sealed all the way!!!! I poured half of the last 30 minutes of my life onto the floor. Wahhhhhh!!!

Thursday:

DAY OFFFF! 

Today was a great break from the rest of the week! I had lunch with my old boss at the Cheesecake Factory and it was absolutely delishhh! And I spent the rest of the day catching up on snuggles with my boys! I'll tell you what, the one thing I miss the most is laying in bed or on the couch with John Henry snuggled up on me, and Jaiden laying next to me watching TV...I miss this terribly! 

Friday:

Alarm: 5:45am, snooze. 6:00am, double snooze crying baby...

I cried today. It sucked..Yesterday was just too good.

Mom-2, Emotions-2

Another work day..With less than eventful happenings. Oh yea! I spent the entire work day re-doing something that I didn't have to, due to poor communication and/or lack of understanding. At the end still not quite sure.

Saturday:

5am. Wide Awake. Alarm: 6:30am. Wide Awake. 

So today was an interesting day. John was watching baby John all by his self..All day long. A full 9+ hours. I don't know who was more nervous, me or John. However I left him my moms phone number in case of serious shit fits... I sent a few "r u ok?" texts through out the day and these are the responses I got.

J: My helper

Me: That's Cute! Is he okay?

J: Off and on he's in his swing now

Clearly when caring for a child all grammatical concerns and punctuation go out the window. Run on sentences are a must!

I called John during my lunch break and he only sounded slightly panicked..But was dealing! 

I came home to a very calm baby, and a  slightly calm husband who even though he loves his child, he was very willing to hand baby John over when I walked through the door. 

Overall he did a great job! Baby John did not end up on the front porch which is where John & my mother often threaten to leave loud, crying or not listening children. (See they are the same person!) And now he is more confident in his own capabilities. He is still trying to understand that patience is a learned trait, and not most people are born with it. 

My first week back couldn't have gone any better. I was completely overwhelmed by emotions, and was able to control my hormones a lot better than expected. I still would prefer to stay home with my babies and each full day I spend with them is only going to make it that much harder the next day. I know that there will be more tear-filled days, but at the end of the week I realized even more that I'm incredibly lucky to be able to come home to such healthy, sweet, & handsome boys everyday. And that is something that I will never take for granted. 

John Henry's Two Months

Our baby boy is already two months old!

STATS:

Weight:  9lbs. 10 oz.
Height: 21 3/4 inches
&& 2 Shots. Poor Baby.

I can't even believe it! He is in the 10th percentile for height & weight..The doctor said he is a small baby but he is following his curve right along so his development is great!

Time has flown by so fast that it seems like yesterday we were bringing him home..& let me tell you, that these last 8 weeks have gone by too quick! It's going to be so difficult come Monday to go back to work & leave my baby! 

I love these two month pictures I took of him! This has got to be by far one of my most favorite outfits that he has! & did I mention the freakin' booties! They are my newest baby obsession & it is my civic duty to purchase in every non gender specific color! Damn you J. Crew! I also love this picture cause it displays my favorite John Henry face..The pouty lip...

Some of John Henry's favorite things so far...
1. His car seat! He surprisingly doesn't mind his car seat..He can be screaming his head off and put him there and he is instantly soothed..
2. His Swing: He loves to just lay and watch the little dogs on the mobile spin round and round..It eventually puts him to sleep, but he will lay in that thing for hours if you let him!
3.His big brother! He is always following him with his eyes where ever Jaiden goes in the house! 
4. The puppy dog! Berkley is still a mystery to him..She is very protective and always has to be right near him at all times! 

He is getting so big and his personality is getting bigger and bigger as each day passes! We are looking forward for him to start smiling a lot more and start to make more sounds..He already makes some and they are some of the cutest sounds I've heard since Jaiden was a baby! 

Our weekend and more.....

So this weekend was nothing short of the same as almost every weekend. John worked Saturday, I went the usual brunch with my mom at my sister's restaurant..Then followed by the mall, Sams Club and Wal Mart. Well I asked John to pick up the baby before we went to Wal Mart..Going in there on a Saturday by myself drives me to drink all in its own..going in there with an almost 2 month old..Haha nice joke. Well halfway through my trip John calls and Baby John is having a meltdown, LOSING HIS SHIT! And poor John wasn't far behind him..So being Super Mom! I rush to the rescue...Half of my shopping list done, I bolted like a bat out of hell back home! All was well when I  got there(Cause it normally is) and with that John's friend came by so they could take the boat out! I went to dinner with my mom, step dad and my niece. Then spent the rest of Saturday and almost all day Sunday watching my man and the Potterhead Marathon..Love HP.. Love.

Sunday I had a girls lunch with Tanya, we went to Ghengis Grill which at this very moment is my absolute fave place to eat! Came home and John and I spent the entire day watching movies..Love days like these. Jaiden was party hopping with Mirtha again this weekend so we didn't see him until later Sunday! I love that he is so active with his dads side of the family, but I sure do miss him when he's gone! 

So now onto what's really getting me..I absolutely hate hate double hate that I have to go back to work..EXACTLY ONE WEEK FROM TODAY! Can't I get a doctors note that says until I stop having random laughing/crying outbursts that I'm not mentally ready to return. But it's okay cause I'm not going to cry. The very last thing I want to do is return to work..I love my company and the people that I work with, but I love my kids more, and this is where I should be. I know everyone has their "I want to be a stay at home mom" days, but I truly do. I feel like with Jaiden that I missed so much of his growing up cause when he was a toddler, I worked 50+ hours a week, during Holiday's which if any one you work retail you know the hours fucking blow... Plus going to school full time, getting 20+ credits a semester...That's like 5 classes which leaves me mentally and physically exhausted when I was with him. Even my bosses were like I don't know how you do it! So I guess I feel guilty for working nights and weekends, when I should be attending every soccer game in full length and not leaving half way through, or being able to take my kids to every birthday party without having my mom or Jaiden's grandma to take him. 

It will probably be different with the baby, kind of. I have John, which I did not have when Jaiden was a baby and a toddler. I was at the mercy of my parents and Jaidens grandma. But it still doesn't make me feel any better about going to work. I just wish I could win the lottery, or move somewhere that John could happily provide for us without my needing to work. Shit I would not mind being a farmer. Take me to the fucking country, give me a tractor and some cows and we'll live off the land.  Together. As a family. No more bullshit working until 3am inventory, no more working at 6am the day after Christmas and for once being able to enjoy the entire Thanksgiving Day with my family without having to leave at 6pm, because the stupid fucking mall opens up at 8pm. Where the hell is my damn holiday? Just cause I work retail, I don't get the same holidays  off???? All I can say is working in a shopping mall was fun in high school. Well guess what..I ain't in high school. And holidays with my family are more important to me than shopping for Vans. Truth. 

Bottom line. I'm meant to be at home with my kids. I'm Sad that it's not the way it is. 

End Rant.

Favorite Finds!

So being on maternity leave has it's pros & cons... The PROS: Being able to spend all day with the babies! Duh!!! But staying at home for a while after my C-section I have found a new love!!!! ONLINE SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never really been much of an online shopper but OMG...this has opened up a whole new world of spending which is why it's a CON!!! I work at a shopping mall and the one thing I hate to do more than anything is walk through a mall shopping..It seriously pisses me off..But it's not cause I don't like shopping, I do..I just hate the lack of customer service that retailers now-a-days offer that it truly makes my experience a miserable one... So I am going to show you what have been some of my favorite finds over the last 8 weeks...Some of which I have already indulged in..others I am patiently waiting for a sale, or for John to kindly hand over his bank card and say "Here honey, buy any and everything your pretty little heart desires!" Sure a girl can dream, right? 

Goodnight Moon Onesie \\ Aden & Anais Muslin Blanket \\ Backpack \\ Hunter Rain boots \\ Blanket \\ Hello Apparel \\ Tank Top \\ Tote \\ Coffee \\ Baby Wrap \\ Vans Slip Ons \\ Camp Brand Goods Apparel \\ 


So here is my list of essential items that I will soon collect all of! I currently have a ton of apparel from Hello Apparel! They had a kick ass 4th of July sale and I stocked up on goodies for me and the babes! I also have the Longchamp Le Pliage large tote in black..But the Deep Red is next on my list for the fall!!! It is amazing! I love drop bags and this carries everything and is my favorite purse I think I've ever had...It's also the most I've ever spent on a purse, but I caught a great sale at Nordstroms and got it 25% off! And of course the Star Wars Vans! Jaiden has this particular pair and I have a pair of Star Wars slips on too! Love, love, love! I will eventually have everything on this list..Today is payday, but you know what they say...Mo' money, mo' problems!!! And I'm sitting on a stack of hospital bills that won't be paid off until John Henry hits elementary school!!

Last on my favorite finds is this recipe for chicken I discovered on Pinterest! I love chicken more than red meat, which is the opposite of my husband but since I'm the cook, I make the choices! But as long as I incorporate something that he loves into the recipe it's okay! But I love any kind of chicken that has some kind of crunch! I normally make chicken with French's Fried Onions, and it is one of my go to's because John loves anything onions and it is really good. But this recipe here is coated with garlic salt, a thin layer of ranch dressing, and then coated with a mixture of crushed Ritz crackers and some freshly grated parmesan cheese. You could probably use pre-grated parmesan cheese, but not the kind in the jar. The consistency of the soft, canned kind doesn't give it the crunch!!! End result is absolutely amazing..The best part is that the recipe for the coating gives me enough extra which allows me to make lunches for myself almost everyday!! Easy enough right? 

And to end with a picture..I took this beauty last night, which was near impossible!

Happy Friday!!!!!

Our 4th of July!

Our 4th of July was pretty normal...John had the entire weekend off of work,which almost never happens, so we enjoyed spending some quality time together, just him & I. Jaiden spent the weekend with Mirtha, after they had planned on going to the beach, but ended up going to Six Flags instead...Friday afternoon me, John, my mom and the baby went to Olive Garden for lunch..That was the best lunch ever! My mom and John are 2 of the funniest people I know, so getting them both together for long periods of time is always a good form of entertainment. We totally pigged out, but it was well worth it! 

We went over to John's friend Woody's house for a cookout. Woody has a 16-month old who is absolutely adorable! And so much fun! We stayed there until almost midnight! There is nothing better than good conversation & good wine, with some good friends! It makes life as parents fun! 

 

We went to Ashburn with Grandma Barbi, Pops, Emma and Uncle Kyle to watch fireworks! 

  

Saturday during the day John got a new tattoo for Baby John! Now I cannot wait to get mine! 

 

Jaiden came home on Sunday and we spent the afternoon hanging out, and went on a nice walk to end the evening! 

 

 

Beach Week!

Or should I say beach days! We were gone for 2 full days, but let me tell you that was one most comical shitshows that has ever been orchestrated without any alcohol...Well maybe a few sips... What do you get when you have 3 people with ADHD, 1 person with postpartum hormones, a teething 5 month old and a colicky 6 week old? You get the most eventful road trip and vacation imaginable! 

 

And boy do we know how to pack a car up..The only foot room is on the dash or across the person next to you's lap..That's it! So there we have it...3 adults, one 7 year old whose favorite things to say were "are we there yet?" or "mom, I'm bored", and 2 infants who were actually very well behaved on the ride down.. All driving through the MIDDLE.OF.NOWHERE. I mean it took driving off the beaten path to an entirely new level. We finally ended up at our destination with very little sanity left between the 3 of us.

It was the first time we had taken babies to the beach..Jaiden's first trip to the beach was when he was 4 so I had never taken a baby to a beach..And let me tell you..If I had to again..I might rethink that..I had fun, but Baby John is colicky, and when your wet, and sticky and covered in sand..breast feeding is actually quite difficult and just all around uncomfortable! But he was pretty content for the first 20 minutes we were at the beach..and then after that he lost his shit..

Both cutie pie babies at the beach!

After our very short time spent at the beach that day, we went back up and mom and I ventured out to Wal Mart where I discovered that Wal Marts in Maryland...DO NOT SELL ALCOHOL! Absolute Insanity! But other than that it was completely People of Wal Mart worthy as those places normally tend to be..The stigma isn't just valid in one particular state. ITS EVERYWHERE!

We later on ended up at the boardwalk..AT 9PM and then decided it would be smart to park on 22nd street and walk all the way down..Well let's just say we walked over 3 miles and didn't get back to the room until after 1am..With 2 babies and 1 7 year old..By that time we were all exhausted, delirious, and yelling things like"you dropped your pocket" to people walking as we drove by..Yes we are that childish..And it's not just one of us..It was all of us! 

Pics of our next day at the beach! 

 

After the beach Jaiden and I had a mommy/Jaiden date..We went to play putt putt! It's always been one of my favorite things to do at the beach and now it's one of Jai's favorites too! 

  Jaiden scored 2 holes-in-one that day...

 And please do no ask why my child is wearing a hoodie in 90+ degree weather....

On our way home we stopped by the boardwalk and ate Guido's Burritos.....Let's just say that people probably go there more for the alcohol than the food..but we had fun anyways! The car ride home included both babies completely losing their shit, as soon as we crossed the bridge leaving Ocean City, I had a manic episode of laughing so hard I cried, and then could not stop crying for at least 5 minutes, followed by a mild panic attack while crossing the Bay Bridge..Fuck.my.life. That shit was freaky! We finally made it home all in one piece... mentally and emotionally drained, but we had the best time!